This is me...

I can't really say that I have move on, because I know he is still in my system. But I can say that I have accepted everything. As I mentioned on my SOLA (That was my first post on my blog), my parents taught me how to accept things that are out of my control. Things would be much easier if I just let it be. I know he did me wrong but I don't want to contemplate on things that will just give me bad memories of him. I can't help to ask myself where I went wrong...he told me that he is opening the door for me to find someone better...but he could have been better if he wanted to. Whatever reason he has, all I can see is that he doesn't want me anymore.

You didn't spare me from anguish; you just took away the hope that is within me, but don't worry, I'm picking up the pieces and I will glue them on my own.

He's gone...

We broke up yesterday... I'm sad, i'm hurting, i'm scared and emptiness is killing me. I have been always lucky with all the people coming in my life, but when it comes to relationship...it always fail. It is so haaaard to find someone whom you would really fall in love with. It took me several years to find this feeling, I fought really hard to make it work and i'm willing to fight harder but he gave up on me. No third party, feelings are still there...he just doesn't want me to be involve...but I am and I want to be involve. We've been together for seven months and the relationship was a rollercoaster ride. I went through a lot of adjustments as well as him, we went through a lot already, my problem, his problems, my happiness, his happiness, we endure those things together. And we tried to save the relationship even his responsibilities on his work and his problems are getting bigger. I can still stay, but we both know it was bound to end. My heart wanted to stay but it is best to let go. I'm proud of how we handled the situation maturely. We talk and we are still friends. I want to stay by his side even as a friend because all the things that we've been through can never be forgotten. Everyone can leave you but I will always be here. "Di ba nga, kahit ilang Tier 3 pa ang lumapit sa akin, di kita iiwan." Hehehe!

Why i'm Staying?

Its simple...i'm happy.

A lot of people may not understand why, but there are few who will. These are people whom for one point in there life experienced the same feeling. Its soooo hard to put it into words but i'm sure I still want to stay. As long as he wants me to.

I'm happy because...
...he gave me the chance to feel what its like to give more of myself without asking anything in return. All my life, I received so much love and care from people around me. And its just wonderful to give more and expect less.

...I learned more of myself than I learn about him. I'm surprise that I was able to do things I never thought I am capable of doing.

...he made me appreciate things more. I realized how blessed I am. I may not have everything in life but all the things and the people I have right now is enough to make me happy.

...being with him made me appreciate life more. Life is short, I must do things that would make me happy, give importance to all the people in my life and spend each day as if it is the last. I would never let a day pass by without letting these people know how much they mean to me.

...it amazes me how he made me feel the real meaning of contentment just by looking at him.

In my entire life I never took a risk...not until I met him.