I was fixing our things last night when I saw my old organizer....it was my organizer way back in highschool...of course other contents we're changed and I used it until I was single. So, last night I opened it again, read some of the things I wrote...I didn't know I also used it as my journal when I was really sad and there's this one entry that I really like. I read it aloud to my husband and I want to share it with you. Written on the 11th of September, 2007...last entry ko about my heartache, kasi after nun, happy na ulit ako. Hehehe!
"In my entire life, I lived in an environment where in all people are nice, i thought "kontrabidas" are just seen on TV...but I was wrong. There's a different world out there and I am not prepared for it.
I am hurting...because I am betrayed, unloved and used. I want to blame him for bursting the fairytale world that I used to lived in. I want to be angry for giving me so much pain. I never thought I am this weak. What's keeping me holding on is the fact that I still have my family and my true friends. Things happen for a reason, I know it is. I may not know it now but someday I will.
I just hope I could pick-up the pieces of my "used-to-be-fantasy" and be happy again."
Just a few thoughts:
I realized that somehow I am not that weak, for if I am I would have never risen from my fall and loved again.
Indeed, things happen for a reason. As what I have told my husband, I know now why it had to happen, he is the reason. For whatever hardship I had in the past, my husband and our children are my greatest prize in this world. I love my family to bits.
