I'm Still Holding On

Can't find the right words to let you know how I feel...
I'll hold on to us, no matter what....
I trust you more than I think I can...
Even if people around us is making me hard to do it, I know I trust you with all my heart...
Even if there are times that i'm hurting because I can't seem to put things the way it should be, I will still stay...
You are the half that makes me whole...
I don't care what others say...
I will still love you...Chumyness

For those who Cared

I underwent an operation yesterday (hindi naman major operation)...I want to thank all my friends who took the time out to help me and also for the financial assistance.

Grace,
You were there the entire operation, patiently waiting. Thank you sooo much. Not just for the time but also for lending me the money. I'm sooo happy that even if we don't see each other as often as we could, you were still there when I need you. Thank you talaga ng marami.

Amerone,
Thank you for helping me, kahit na hindi na tayo nag-uusap. Sooobrang thank you. Ang sarap ng feeling na mayrong handang tumulong sa'yo kahit na hindi kayo ganun kaclose. Thank you ng sobra-sobra.

Lala and Vianca,
We've been friends for six years now, and we've been through a lot. Siguro ito na ung pinakamalaking bagyo na dumaan sa isa sa ating tatlo. I'm so happy na kayo ang naging friends ko. Vianca, even if you were not there, I know that you are worried about me. Thank you for your prayers. Lala, thank you for the last minute help. I wish that I can also do the same when you asked for helped a few months ago. Pero wala rin talaga ako nun. Di ako makakalabas ng hospital kung hindi ka dumating. Sobrang thank you talaga.

Marianne,
You were there since day one. And I appreciate all the time na binibigay mo para samahan ako. Thank you for the support, lalo na nung bago ko pa lang nalaman. Thank you for keeping some information secret. Sobrang thank you.

TP friends,
I'm so glad that I have friends here that are ready to help. Kay Sird Eds, kernan, Mark, thank you for the financial assistance. For Queen, MJ, Kuya ray, Arlene and other Team Eclipse and Wave 29 members who knew about the operation, thank you for showing me that you care. Alam kong you prayed for me. Kay Vince and kay Sir Allan, thank you for the moral support. Sir Ralph, thank you po and sorry sa sched comp. Di na ako malilate pagbalik ko. Promise...

Chumyness,
I know that you're busy and I understand kung late ka na dumating. Mahalaga dumating ka. Thank you sa pag-aasikaso ng lahat. Thank you sa time. Thank you for staying kahit alam kong marami ka ng problema. Thank you for being my strength. You are the reason kung bakit masarap pa ring mabuhay. Thank you...I wouldn't have done it without you.

My family,
Thank you for understanding me....

God,
Thank you for guiding me. Thank you for all these people na pinadala mo to help me.

Need to be Strong

Invictus OUT of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.
In the fell clutch of circumstance	5
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.
Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,	10
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.
It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:	15
I am the captain of my soul. I've been going through a lot these days, its as if I just want to close my eyes wish that when I open it, everything will be back to normal. I just want to stare at nothingness, talk less and cry more. But I know it won't change anything.... Apart from all the things that is happening in my life right now, I'm still glad to have my family, Marianne and Chumyness by my side.

State of My Life Address

Have you ever look back on what you went through? What you have achieved in your ___ years of existence here in this world?

Inspired by the SONA of our president…..

Here I present to you my SOLA, “State of my Life Address”

I’m Edabelle Besin Ragay, 21 years old. Ilang beses nang napalo ni Inay, ilang beses ng humalo ang luha ko sa aking uhog nung bata pa ako, gumulong-gulong dahil sa pagkalampa, imiyak, tumawa, lumuha at sumaya. Lahat ng ito, sa maniwala kayo o hindi ay naging malaking bahagi ng pagkatao ko.

ELEMENTARY

I’m just an ordinary girl, born here in Manila, went to Dumaguete and came back for good. Never akong nakatikim ng private school, hindi ko rin napagdaanan ang buhay nursery, prep o kinder man lang. Nagdarna na ako kaagad sa Grade 1, kahit di pa puwede six years old, hala sige, pinalusot na lang. (Wahaha, di nila napansin height ko!!!)

Apat na schools ang nironda ko nung elementary, nakapagsuot ng Girl Scout uniform, nakailang beses ring nakatanggap ng picture frames tuwing Christmas Party (may shampoo at toothpaste pa nga, eh!), nakailang tanggap rin ng medalya kahit papaano.

HIGHSCHOOL

Nung highschool, Miss Popularity ako. Kahit di na mag-aral papasa na sa dami ng extra curricular activities. But before the fame, of course I worked hard bago makuha yun. Dito ko nakilala ang D’FRAME-G, SR. JIMAD, CAMELVANT at RAP JAM. Ang bestfriend kong si Pas at tsaka ang mga best guy friends kong sina Jilbert at Emond. Sa pagtatapos ng pasukan, pasok pa rin sa banga ang lola nyo sa mga awards.

COLLEGE

PUP talaga ang first choice kong pasukan sa college at IE talaga ang gusto ko, yun nga lang medyo nalihis ng landas sa Accountancy. Sinasabi nila highschool life raw ang pinakamasaya, pero para sa akin, college. Here I met matured, open-minded and sincere people. Patatawanin ka pag malungkot ka, di ka iiwanan sa ere, praprangkahin ka pag sumosobra ka na. yung tipong walang plastikan. That’s what I’ve found from my two precious friends, Lala (ang Chickboy na Antukin, aka Lalaque) and Vianca (na pumayat na).

Syempre nandyan din naman sina Joseph aka GwapiToledo, “My Babzy,” Aljohn aka Alex Bandido, Merry as Sanggre, si Joyce na mahilig sa Chinovela (magpapalit na nga ‘ata ito ng nationality, eh!), si Joman “Ang Pastor ng Bayan,” si Jenilee na laging tagatawa, si Kristine, “The Crying-Laughing Girl” (na tatalo sa kasikatan ng My Sassy Girl), si Apple “Ang Institusyon,” si Julius na Mr. Diskarte, ang TM Girls, si Benedict na Pogeetah, si Nessang Juicylicious Nutricious, si Alvin na nag-over ‘d bakod na, si Fred ang “Mr. GMA” ng klase, sina Ria at Christian na “Ang tanong ng bayan, “Sila na ba?” at ang di matatawarang kasipagan ng grupong Leslie, Analyn, Kim, Jinky, Hilda at Roselyn.

Kanino ko ba kayang i-share ang mga jokes na “Are you declaring wire? O di kaya “Mag try-some kaya kayong tatlo?” eh, yung joke na dugtungan ng salita? Di ba sa kanila lang?

Oo, tsubrang hirap ng college, pero wala namang papantay sa saya. Kahit ‘di na ako popular sa buong school, mas masarap maging Boobita Rose, Artistahin o Boobzy ng klase. Ano naman ngayon kung di na ako nagpeperform sa lahat ng estudyante sa school namin? Mas masaya naman ang videokehan sa SM Centerpoint, at ang pagpeperform sa kantang Kiliti, di ba?!

Sa stage na ito naranasan kong pumasok ng walang tulog, ni lapat ng likod ko sa kama man lang, naranasan kong mag-OJT, matulog ng 5am sa kakachat at syempre ang mag-overnight sa bahay ng iba. Dito ko nalaman kung pano mangarap at makilala ng mas mabuti ang sarili ko. Dito ako naging tutor sa LNK at mas lalong naging malapit kay God at sa aking pamilya. Ditong stage na ito nalaman kong kahit papaano, nakakatouch ako ng buhay ng ibang tao. College life talaga ang the best!!!

I have received many awards, recognition and once in my life experienced fame, but apart from all of these I was not happy.

It’s because I know within me that in our lives these things don’t matter.

It doesn’t matter if I have medals and I’m popular, that doesn’t make me a greater person than those who doesn’t have.

Our family doesn’t have much but its okay, because it doesn’t make me a lesser person than those who have plenty.

I’m proud of how my parents had raised me. They have made me realized that there are much more important things than money, medals and popularity…and that is my family, my faith and doing good. Material things will fade but these things will remain forever in the hearts of the people whom you have touched their lives.

My family advised me to take care of my friends. Especially those kind of friendship that nurtures me and allows me to grow. And stay away to those who will do me no good.

My parents imparted so much values in me but the most important is having faith in God. I do belive that this helps me to be kinder to others, more appreciative of what I have and not to focus on what I can’t have. It made me accept things easily that are out of my control and gave me a sense of fulfillment in all the things I do. I feel contented and complete having God as the center of my life and from these stems my REAL HAPPINESS.

A writer named Bob Ong once said:

“Nalaman kong hindi pala exam na may passing rate ang buhay.

Hindi ito multiple choice, identification, true or false, enumeration,

o fill-in-the-blanks na sinasagutan, kundi essay na isinusulat araw-araw.

Huhusgahan ito hindi base sa kung tama o mali ang sagot, kundi base sa

kung may kabuluhan ang mga naisulat o wala. Allowed ang erasures.”