Sunday, May 30, 2021

Papa

I had a dream of you last night again, Pa. This is the third since you left this world. 

The first was a few months after you passed away. In my dream we are going to a running event with Mama. We were in a hurry not to miss the start of the race. When we were about to leave, suddenly you became a flower. I watched it grew until the flower bloomed and then I woke up. 

Second time is a dream of you in the hospital. I was taking care of you. In my dream, you don't even look like your sick and in pain. You were happy and we were laughing. You were your usual self, who jokes around and seems not to take things seriously. And then I woke up. 

And then last night, I dreamed of you again. I was in Hongkong ready to fly back to Manila and I messaged Cristy to ask how you've been. She said that you're doing well and still in the hospital. And I said, as soon as I arrived in Manila, I will take the earliest flight to Dumaguete and then in my dream I was confused. I knew you were gone but Cristy's messaged says otherwise. And then I woke up. 


Four days was all it took for us to lose you. I was not there, not Mama and not Kuya nor Insong. COVID happened and going to you was not as easy as it should have been. Maybe this is the reason why I dreamed of being able to take care of you in the hospital. 

But despite what had happened, I am thankful for the family that took care of you in behalf of our absence. We are blessed to have people and family who cares for you, Pa. You are deeply loved by many. Although, it pains us that you are not with us in this world, I trust in God's goodness that you are in a better place now. 

God's work was displayed in the wake of your passing. That even in painful things, we could see His glory. We have seen how God sent people to comfort and help us in this trying times. Financial assistance, offer of encouragement and comfort in prayers. After the day of your passing, a member of our church, Naomi called me to ask for any prayer request. She randomly chose my name that day, without knowing about the current pain I am going through. She cried with me on the phone and shared my hurt and she prayed for me. Clearly, this is through God's work that she is able to comfort me with God's words at the very time I really need it most. 

I was blessed to have an Aunt who is also a believer and called a Pastor to pray for you. On your wake, God's word was shared to people who have attended the service. This verse was shared: 

John 14:6 6 Jesus said to him, “I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me." 

Isn't that wonderful, Pa?! Through our suffering and pain, God has been glorified. 

You are always in my heart, Papa!💓
 

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